It’s July 1, meaning that it’s time for Canadians around the world have launched into their recently re-invigorated day of jingoistic pride. Living next door to the definition of jingoistic pride has set the bar pretty high, but based on the last couple of trips north, great strides have been made since we left our home country in 1999.

This morning, the Canadian flag is flying outside Giant Birch Manor. The one day a year I risk offending my neighbours in a demonstration of my national pride.

In some ways, Canada Day serves as the start of my new year, just as much as the start of the school year in August/September does. It divides the year in half, and provides a celebratory marker when the weather is likely good enough to have a good party.

I had a look back to see what I posted on July 1 last year, and found that the only post was one related to GrabPERF, announcing the termination of the PubSub measurements, as that company was in the midst of its death throes.

Over the last year, I have seen significant personal upheavals and changes, most notably the diagnosis of my mental condition as Bipolar 1. After talking with some people I know who also suffer from this disorder, I realize that I have a very mild form of it, but even in its mildest forms, it can be crippling. I can say that having access to better medication (I AM PAXIL FREE!), and the world’s best therapist, I have come a long way in understanding what in this life I can and cannot change.

Watching the red and white flag fluttering in the morning breeze, I realize that there are days that I really miss Canada, and all of its foibles and unique cultural issues. But for now, I live where I am, and I have come to accept that, even with all of its uncertainty (still no closer to my Dream Green Card).

So, I wish you all a Happy Canada Day, wherever you raise your maple leaf.

Tags: Canada Day, paxil, bipolar, year in review, green card, Canada, new year

There’s no need to ask directions
If you ever lose your mind
We’re behind you
We’re behind you
And let us please remind you
We can send a car to find you
If you ever lose your way

Cake — Comfort Eagle

So, last week, I did it. I dropped Paxil/paroxetine/seroxat completely from my medicines. Seems that other medical issues I am having are aggravated by the stuff, so after 7.5 years, it’s gone.

The withdrawal shouldn’t be as bad for me as it is for most people, as I am on pretty high doses of the mood-stabilizer Trileptal. Still, it should be an interesting couple of weeks.

Tags: bipolar, paxil, paroxetine, seroxat, cake, Comfort Eagle

For a 38-year old man with no outward symptoms of a physical ailment, my daily drug/supplement regimen is one that would leave many of my peers stunned.

The problem is, that like most people who are bipolar, I take a cocktail to try and balance out the variety and multitude of symptoms and effects I undergo. The current melange, as prescribed is:

• 1800mg of Trileptal (900mg twice daily)
• 300mg of Bupropion/Wellbutrin (150mg twice daily)
• 20mg of paroxetine/Seroxat/Paxil (10mg twice daily)

It’s the last one that causes me the greatest concern. Paxil/Seroxat/paroxetine is prescribed much less freely now than it was when I was first given it in 1999. The side-effects can be stunning and as dangerous as the condition they are supposed to assist with.

I have tried multiple times to take paroxetine out of my “diet”. Unfortunately, I immediately slip into SSRI discontinuation syndrome — aggressive behaviour, irritability, and a host of other issues. In the final calculation, paroxetine will likely be a part of my “diet” until I have 6 months in a Tibetan hermitage to wean myself off of it.

Until then, I am adding things such as Omega-3 oils and Ginkgo Biloba to the mix to see if they help my body control my cycles naturally, using the methods it has used for millennia.

It’s interesting to note that, when we are mostly aware of what’s going on, Bipolars are the best ones to play with and adjust their own treatment regimen. Most high-functioning Bipolars seem to enjoy tweaking and turning the knobs in most things anyway, so why not in our medications.

[The reference in the title is from a Star Trek, Original Series episode. You know how to use Google; you find out what it means.]

Groovy! An entire blog dedicated to the effects of my favourite addictive SSRI! [here]

Go team!

Hmmm, looks like GSK can’t shake the bad news that seems to follow Paxil/Seroxat wherever it goes. [here]

If I wasn’t addicted to the stuff, I would be worried.

http://www.google.com/googlegulp/

All of that Google goodness, now with a refreshing citrus flavour!

How to get Gulped?
You can pick up your own supply of this “limited release” product simply by turning in a used Gulp Cap at your local grocery store. How to get a Gulp Cap? Well, if you know someone who’s already been “gulped,” they can give you one. And if you don’t know anyone who can give you one, don’t worry – that just means you aren’t cool. But very, very (very!) soon, you will be.

Wait, this BETA Program sounds familiar! Wonder where they got it from!

Sero-Tonic Water – Just try to stay down once your synapses get a blast of this bubbly concoction whose refreshing blend of selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors is perfect for those moments when all your other beverage options just seem soooo depressing.

Sounds far better than my morning Wellbutrin/Paxil Grande Latte!

Ben Ramsey has 50 Google Gulp Caps to give away! [here]

Scoble may have the inside track to the Microsoft response…ask him; I dare you!

John Battelle critiques this year’s Google Poisson d’Avril. [here]

More here and here.

As a consumer of SSRIs [here], this piece of news REALLY concerns me.

Antidepressants increase risk of suicidal behaviour: study

Suicide, depression, and antidepressants

Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and suicide in adults: meta-analysis of drug company data from placebo controlled, randomised controlled trials submitted to the MHRA’s safety review

Suicidal Behaviour Caused by Antidepressants “Cannot Be Ruled Out”

Thanks GSK….

More. [here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here]

Spent all day in bed.

Now before you go off the deep-end and start saying how decadent, you have to realize that I spent most of the time unconscious, sweating, and having very unusual vivid dreams. It was actually kind of nice to have vivid dream again; I don’t have them very often, as a result of the Paxil/Seroxat I take.

On the whole, it was a truly unpleasant day. Managed to crawl out of bed long enough to help put the boys to bed, and I am functioning mainly with the help of Advil (Curse of the CNS AGAIN!).

Samantha has hit her Holiday Season stride, and is slapping up "Canadian Pine" garlands, lights, bows, and pine cone highlights around the Embassy. I am settled in the command chair, knowing full well I better be healthy by Monday, or the whole trip to West Coast will be in question.

Ugh. Nice disease.

On a happy note, I sent my first 419/Nigerian Scam mail to spam@uce.gov. Seems that someone wants to hear about these things.

Link: SocietyGuardian.co.uk | Society | Revealed: secret plan to push ‘happy’ pills.

I love reading stuff like this about Paxil/Seroxat, as it is the SSRI I have been taking since 1998.

A half-life is the scientific term for how long it takes for the
concentration of a drug to drop by 50 per cent in a patient’s
bloodstream. The company suggested Seroxat’s short half-life meant
patients could come on and off the drug easily, compared with those on
Prozac, even to the extent that they could take ‘treatment holidays’.
‘There was an argument that a short half life was really good news,’
Brook said.

For those of you out there who may have tried to stop taking Paxil/Seroxat, you may have encountered a few of the withdrawal symptoms.

It is best to consult a physician before discontinuing SSRIs. Stopping taking SSRIs such as Paroxetine (Paxil, Seroxat, Deroxat) suddenly may cause discontinuation effects, or withdrawal symptoms, including:

• dizziness
• vertigo/light-headedness
• nausea
• fatigue
• headache
• insomnia
• abdominal cramps
• chills
• increased dreaming
• agitation
• anxiety

When I stopped, I encountered all of these. The only one that I liked was the return of my vivid dreaming. But I finally had to go back on them. You have created another addict for life; thank you GSK.