It’s critical to your business. It affects revenue. It’s how people who can’t come to you perceive you.

It’s your Web site.

Its complex. Abstract. Lots of conflicting ideas and forces are involved. Everyone says they now the best thing for it. Finger-pointing. Door slamming. Screaming.

Am I describing your Web site and the team that supports it? Or your teenager?

If you think of your Web site as a teenager, you begin to realize the problems that your facing. Like a teenager, it has grown physically and mentally, and, as a result, thinks its an experienced adult, ready to take on the world. However, let’s think of your site as a teenager, and think back to how we, as teenagers (yeah, I’m old), saw the world.

MOM! This doesn’t fit anymore!

Your Web site has grown as all of your marketing and customer service programs bear fruit. Traffic is increasing. Revenue is up. Everyone is smiling.

Then you wake up and realize that your Web site is too small for your business. This could mean that the infrastructure is overloaded, the network is tapped out, your connectivity is maxed, and your sysadmins, designers, and network teams are spending most of your day just firefighting.

Now, how can you grow a successful business, or be the hip kid in school, when your clothes don’t fit anymore?

But, you can’t buy an entire wardrobe every six months, so plan, consider your goals and destinations, and shop smart.

DAD! Everyone has one! I need to have one to be cool!

Shiny.

It’s a word that has been around for a long time, and was revived (with new meaning) by Firefly. It means reflective, bright, and new. It’s what attracts people to gold, mirrors, and highly polished vintage cars. In the context of Web sites, it’s the eye-candy that you encounter in your browsing, and go “Our site needs that”.

Now step back and ask yourself what purpose this new eye-candy will serve.

And this is where Web designers and marketing people laugh, because it’s all about being new and improved.

But can you be new and improved, when your site is old and broken?

Get your Web performance in order with what you, then add the stuff that makes your site pop.

But those aren’t the cool kids. I don’t hang with them.

Everyone is attracted to the gleam of the cool new Web sites out there that offer to do the same old thing as your site. The promise of new approaches to old problems, lower cost, and greater efficiencies in our daily lives are what prompt many of us to switch.

As a parent, we may scoff, realizing that maybe the cool kids never amounted to much outside of High School. But, sometimes you have to step back and wonder what makes a cool kid cool.

You have to step back and say, why are they attracting so much attention and we’re seen as the old-guard? What can we learn from the cool kids? Is your way the very best way? And says who?

And once you ask these questions, maybe you agree that some of what the cool kids do is, in fact, cool.

Can I borrow the car?

Trust is a powerful thing to someone, or to a group. Your instinctive response depends on who you are, and what your experiences with others have been like in the past.

Trust is something often found lacking when it comes to a Web site. Not between your organization and your customers, but between the various factions within your organization who are trying to interfere or create or revamp or manage the site.

Not everyone has the same goals. But sometimes asking a few questions of other people and listening to their reasons for doing something will lead to a discussion that will improve the Web site in a way that improves the business in the long run.

Sometimes asking why a teenager wants to borrow the car will help you see things from their perspective for a little while. You may not agree, but at least now it’s not a yes/no answer.

YOU: How was school today? - THEM: Ok.

Within growing organizations, open and clear communication tends to gradually shrivel and degenerate. Communications become more formal, with what is not said being as important as what is. Trying to find out what another department is doing becomes a lot like determining the state of the Soviet Union’s leadership based on who attends parades in Red Square.

Abstract communication is one of the things that separates humans from a large portion of the rest of the animal kingdom. There is nothing more abstract than a Web site, where physical devices and programming code produce an output that can only be seen and heard.

The need for communication is critical in order to understand what is happening in another department. And sometimes that means pushing harder, making the other person or team answer hard questions that they think you’re not interested in, or that you is non of your business.

If you are in the same company, it’s everyone’s business. So push for an answer, because working to create an abstract deliverable that determines the success or failure of the entire firm can’t be based on a grunt and a nod.

Summary

There are no easy answers to Web performance. But if you consider your Web site and your teams as a teenager, you will be able to see that the problems that we all deal with in our daily interactions with teens crop up over an over when dealing with Web design, content, infrastructure, networks and performance.

Managing all the components of a Web site and getting best performance out of it often requires you to have the patience of Job. But it is also good to carry a small pinch of faith in these same teams, faith  that everyone, whether they say it or not, wants to have the best Web site possible.

Tags: conversation, cool, cool new Web, High School, improvement, performance evolution, performance improvement, physical devices, Red Square, Soviet Union, teen, teenager, Web design, Web designers, Web Performance

I have finally given up on Trillian releasing a new version anytime before the next ice age, and switched to the the messenger client formerly known as GAIM, now known as Pidgin.

Solid, functional, and showing signs that it is in active development. Unlike Trillian, which is slowly becoming the Duke Nukem Forever of messenger clients.

I’m sorry, but promising a cool new product, and then not letting anyone try it leads to scores of new Pidgin users.

Tags: Pidgin, Trillian, Duke Nukem Forever

Tags: ads, client, cool, EAD, HTTP, IE, IM, IP, it, Om, One, pidgin, pr, Technorati, trillian, users

Trillian, the multi-system messenger program I use, apparently has this really cool new product in development. However, they have taken the Joost approach to releasing things: make it exclusive.

This is making me angry, and I am considering switching back to GAIM, even though I find GAIM clunky and wheezy in it’s latest version.

Trillian developers: open it up! Teasing me only pisses me off. By the time you release your hot new product, I won’t care anymore.

I already don’t care if Joost ever gets released; it’s dead to me. Please don’t do this with Trillian.

Tags: Trillian, GAIM, Joost, ceruleanstudios, cerulean studios

Tags: app, cool, EAD, HTTP, IM, it, Joost, Om, pr, Technorati, trillian

So, it was time to re-build my laptop — 4 months of cruft gets in the way and really slows things down. And since the company I work for has an Microsoft Enterprise License that includes Vista, I took the plunge.

So far, it’s ok. Nothing that really rocks my world. And one serious hindrance: It seems that Juniper Networks / Netscreen don’t seem to have bothered releasing a Vista compatible version of their Netscreen Remote software. This means I have a serious disadvantage when it comes to working from home.

Other than that, it’s the annoyances that bother that outweigh the cool things that impress. I turned of the CPU/Memory sucking Aero transparency and animation, and I am still looking at having to upgrade to 2GB of RAM.

Meanwhile, if I took the time to install Ubuntu, I could have a equally cool interface, higher security, and a smaller memory footprint.

It seems that Microsoft has gone out of their way, in the name of security, to compromise usability. I won’t be recommending it for my friends and neighbours.

Tags: Vista, Windows Vista, annoyances, Netscreen, Juniper Networks, Netscreen Remote, Ubuntu

Tags: cool, cro, HTTP, IE, IM, IP, it, Microsoft, Om, One, pr, Technorati, window, Windows

I’m the first to tell you that I know nothing about using a tool as powerful as The Gimp. I get Layers, but after that, there is a realm of madness that I have not yet reached.

I have learned a cool trick tonight. It’s building on a trick I learned a couple of weeks ago. It uses layers and the overlay method. Lifehacker pointed me to digital Photography School, and I learned the overlay Gaussian Blur method. I know use this a lot.

But once I figured out layers, I figured that I could really start stacking them up. As a result of my fiddling, I stumbled onto a really cool way to make those pictures leap at you.

Let’s start with a picture of the USB hub that sits next to me.

Sort of lame, with a distinct yellow hue.

Ok, create a duplicate layer. Then, INVERT the duplicate layer. You end up with something like this.

This, in and of itself, is pretty damn cool. But, there’s another layer under there. The original picture. So, what happens when you set the inverted layer to overlay mode?

Now, you may think there isn’t much difference between this and the original. So let’s put them side-by-side.

Pow! Instant Contrast! Things like the cable in the background, the cable in the foreground, and the front edge of the hub suddenly leap out at you.

Now, the true photogs out there are likely yawning. “Yeah, so what?”, they say. “I could of done that in 30 seconds.”

But hey, it’s new to me.

Tags: app, ARIN, blog, content, cool, HTTP, IE, IM, IP, ISP, it, LAN, Om, One, PHP, pr, Technorati, the Origin

Ok Web performance gurus, I have been out-cooled by someone I work with. Ryan Breen, VP of Technology at Gomez and overall uber-geek, has managed to register AJAX Performance and has a blog up there that talks all about the freaky twisted goodness of making your AJAX behave.

Ryan knows way more about making apps behave; I just know how to analyze the data that shows that they’re broken.

Tags: ajax, app, blog, cool, data, HTTP, it, Om, One, performance, web, Web Performance

Over the last 12 months, GrabPERF has added a lot of measurements, especially from folks who thought that the system was cool, looked at the data a few times, and never returned.

So, I have looked at the logs for the last few weeks, and determined that there are definitely a large number measurements that no one looks at. In order to absorb the load on the system and to free up space in the database, I inactivated approximately 30 measurements in the last hour.

If I inactivated a measurement you were using, please let me know. If there is a measurement you want added, please let me know.

Technorati Tags: GrabPERF

Tags: app, cool, data, database, GrabPERF, HTTP, IM, it, measurement, Om, One, pr, Technorati

On my trip to Europe earlier this month, I picked up a Razr V3 that had been abandoned by one of my colleagues in the UK. Sitting in a drawer, it looked so lonely and abandoned.

It probably wishes it had stayed there.

Since I got it, I have been exploring all of the sites and boards that discuss the various hacks that people have performed on this magnificent piece of technology. Short of some of the advanced procedures (still trying to figure out how to convert the bluetooth into a directed energy weapon), this is not the same phone I received two weeks ago.

I have flashed the firmware (twice), switched on the Autoupdate feature for the Time/Date, and removed all of the Vodafone specific branding that came with the device.

I now understand how you can become heavily involved in phone modding. This device, which is a simple V3 that you see everywhere, is more powerful than my first 386. I can cruise the Web using Opera Mini, check directions using Google Mini-Maps, and use it as a modem if I am ever stuck for a connection somewhere.

I also have the Motorola Phone Tools software installed, so I can control my phone over USB.

A lot of what I have learned and done over the last three days is definitely in a “grey zone” as far as Motorola is concerned. However, given the number of people doing this, Motorola should open up their tools and let people know how to make the mods they want.

In fact, I would love to see Motorola should run a contest to see who can build the coolest Flash pack for the V3 that can be used by anyone. That would build intense customer interest and would make the V3 even more of a geek toy than it is now.

It is the single coolest gadget I have ever owned. It even outranks the Treo and the Zen Micro.

For those of you out there into the risk of turning your slek and sexy phone into a brick, I suggest Motox or MotoModders as places to start.

Long live MotoModding.

Technorati Tags: Razr V3, V3, Moto, MotoModding, Motorola, hacks, flash, modding

Tags: brand, control, cool, cro, cruise, Europe, Google, HTTP, IE, IM, IP, it, LAN, live, Om, One, pr, Razr, run, Technorati, update, web

Usually I classify this sort of mail as complete nonsense, and delet it. But this one was such a classic, I had to post it.

The letter is from the new CEO of the joint Borland/Segue. He is announcing that he thinks that Segue and Borland customers will be able to find cool ways to use the products of this new company…at least, after I translate it, it seems like that is what he is TRYING to say.

…

This is a great move for both of our organizations as we come together to tackle what we all know to be a key development challenge and the biggest opportunity for our industry — software quality. Borland and Segue have long shared a common belief that the challenge of software quality reaches far beyond testing and QA. Together we will approach this issue holistically, providing value at each stage of the software delivery lifecycle.

Our focus now is on the development of a comprehensive Lifecycle Quality Management solution — bringing together our unparalleled process improvement expertise with proper skills training and a true end-to-end quality technology offering. Our goal is alignment of people, process and technology, proactively driving higher standards of software quality while systematically reducing costs associated with rework and maintenance.

While continuing to enhance Segue’s quality and application performance technologies, we will also focus on delivering even tighter linkage with Borland’s broad portfolio of Application Lifecycle Management technologies. As part of a complete solution, these technologies will address quality across the entire lifecycle, eliminating quality issues at the root cause.

…

Chaucer and Shakespeare just rose from the dead, and they are looking for the marketing people who wrote this.

Technorati Tags: Fight the bull, nonsense, marketing

Tags: app, application, cool, cro, customers, delivery, EAD, HTTP, IE, IM, improvement, Issues, it, LAN, live, maintenance, marketing, Om, One, performance, pr, Technorati, testing

I got to hold a 3-day old lamb, and watch as Samantha gave this little creature it’s first bath.

How cool is that?

I may spend my day shlepping bits and electrons, but there is something very special about watching your friend’s 11 year-old daughter lead a little ball of wool on its first free walk in the field across the road.

Sometimes getting away from it all is worth it.

Technorati Tags: lamb, farm, Maine

Tags: cool, cro, EAD, HTTP, IE, IM, it, Om, Technorati